A Broken Heart and A Shattered Dream

It's crazy what a woman can do to your mind. You have this dream of what you want your life to be, and you have it all planned out in your head. It may be a vague plan, but you know the end point, you just don't have a time line. Then comes the baseball through the window.

It's like someone taking a baseball bat to the windshield of your brand new car, that you have yet to insure. Everything shatters and there is no way to replace it. There's just this huge hole in your life that can't be filled. You can get distracted and ignore it, but it always comes back as soon as you take your mind off the road.

You get in your now broken car to take it to the shop and lurch with pain. Glass shards on the seat. It's like there wasn't enough damage done already, they have to do exactly the thing you fear all along. It's like some hidden rule that after breaking your heart, burning it to ash, then leaving the ash on the table between you they have to go and do that one last thing that rubs salt in the wound, so they bend down and blow the ashes off the table onto the floor.

So you're broken, you're shattered, and they're lovin' life. You're in the past, you're history, and all they have to worry about, once they've ground you into the dirt, is gallivanting through green pastures that you two used to share holding hands with another guy, who they barely waited before snatching up.

And even if they didn't immediately run off with some other guy, they usually present that they have. It's the whole rubbing salt in the wound concept, again. They try to drive the stake through your heart and all the way out the back, just so you won't cling on to that shard of hope that you have left that your dream might still come true, and that you have something to look forward to in life.

They can't have you holding on, even if they wanted you to, because it will just make things "too hard".

You know what? Screw the crap! When you love someone, you're not just going to get over them lickity split. It doesn't happen, it won't ever happen, and it's exactly what they all expect and try to force you to do, or it's what they do themselves.

I'm tired of being hurt, I'm tired of being kicked and hit while I'm down, I'm tired of this stupid stupid game. Every time you think you've finally found something that works, they find someway to rip it out of your hands and take away every last shred you thought you had. I'm so incredibly done.