One Night In Vegas...

makes the Rich man Poorer... (I have one night in Bangkok in my head). And if you are wondering, no I did not go gambling, and no I did not blow a bunch of cash. I spent $10 even. I had nothing to do with my evening. Kendal was busy with homework, I'm not calling Bri, and Kyle was tired and didn't have any ideas, so I sat down and brain stormed.

What did I come up with? Bowling or a movie. I decided that bowling is only fun with a larger group (at least 4 people), and that I just wanted to sit down and relax. I may sit down all day, but I don't just relax. So I looked up what movies were playing near me.

Turns out that there is a Cinema 13 at the Casino just down the road. I decided to go see Ratatouille. Drove over, got lost trying to find the Cinema part of the Casino. Paid $10 for my ticket, walked in 10 minutes late and 5 minutes before the previews ended. Got a great seat too.


I enjoyed the movie. I just sat there and Vegged. I laugh, I smiled, I was pleasantly surprised by the plot twists and the unpredictability of the movie. I liked it, and I may go see it again sometime if I can ever find a date.

So I came home and decided to write a short blog entry while my cloths finish drying (laundry happens whenever I run out of something: socks, underwear, under shirts, you name it), but I think it is now time for bed.

A Car, A Friend, A Day, A Sister

So it's been busy since I moved to Henderson. I've been working on getting a social life, working on actually organizing my apartment, working part-time as a contract programmer, working full-time as a programmer, and just life in general. But it's, all things considered, been a more positive than negative experience.

When I moved, I pretty much lost everything that I loved. I lost the mountains, I lost the moderate climate, I lost my friends, I lost my family, I lost my girlfriend, I lost the stars (you can't really see most of them where I live), and I lost everything familiar. It's a very different environment here, but it seems to be working out.

I've had several rough days in the past while, I've had a lot of stress over recent situations, and I've had a lot of frustration with my car and not having anything to do. More importantly, though, I have found a peace in where I am and what I'm doing. It is all starting to fall into place, and I like that feeling.

I'll start from the beginning of the most recent events. I was driving home from work and as I pulled up to my apartment complex, I looked down and noticed that my car was overheated. I scream in my head, and quickly rush the short distance to my apartment and park my car (this was June 28, 2007). I park the car, open the hood and look inside. The cooling flange (http://img.alibaba.com/photo/11153131/Flange.jpg) valve had blown off (it's the little protrusion from the right-side on the top), so my car had totally drained itself of coolant.

It was after 5 and BMW was closed so I couldn't get the parts I needed, and it was Thursday so I had a basketball game. I walked the 2 miles to the church (in 110ish) degree weather and had a lot of fun. It was very stress relieving. I got home and my church leader (Kendal) came over and helped me out with my car for a bit. We were up until 2, but hadn't found the part anywhere, so we decided to glue to value closed and hope it would hold in enough coolant to allow me to get to a shop.

Kendal gave me a ride to work (20 minutes out of his way) the next day. I got a ride to a BMW dealership with a coworker at lunch, and bought a new coolant flange and a new thermostat for my car (http://www.bmwworld.com/parts/thermostatr.jpg)(these should usually be replaced if you car overheats for any period of time and I figure "why not"). Total parts cost me $110. BMW gave me a quote of two hours at $107/hr to fix the parts, but they were backed up for a week. I said OK and went back to work.

I went camping that night with a Youth Group in my area. Kendal drove me, it was much fun. Steal the flag, campfire stuff, hanging out. I enjoyed it.

The next day, Saturday, I spent trying to find someplace local to fix my car. Sears Auto wouldn't do it, because they don't take walk-in parts. Which is a shame, because they're cheap and are very close to my apartment. I found a Midas that is about 1.5 miles up the street who said they'd work on my car. They gave me a quote of 1.3 hours at $94/hr and they'd take my parts. I figured I'd save $100 on labor, and they'd do it today, so I drove it up. It was close enough my car didn't overheat, and close enough for me to ride my kick scooter home, and back to pick up my car. Cost me $130 (they also got a new thermostat housing and installed that for me). So after a lot of stress and tax it cost around $250 to fix my car.

I drive it to work and back Monday, no problems. I drive it to work Tuesday, no problem, I walk out to my car after work on Tuesday and there is a puddle of antifreeze leading from my car. Kendal helped me tow it the 10 miles form work to the Midas. The mechanic put the reservoir hose on incorrectly, so it was rubbing against one of the pulleys. It wore a hole right through the side of the tube and drained my car of antifreeze again.

They're fixing it for free (including parts and cleaning my engine) and it will be done Thursday (July 5) morning. A lot of stress and frustration, but it will work out.

Today, July 4, 2007, went well. I woke up around 10, lazied about my morning, then walked over to Kendal's Parent's house for a block party he invited me to. It was 114 at the time, and took me 45 minutes to walk there. I'd say about 1.5 miles the route I took. Very hot. We got there, and I realized I didn't have my swimming shorts, so he drove me home to grab them. What a waste of time walking, but it was good to get out and move, and to get some sun.

We went swimming, watched the Discovery Channel series about the World (just blanked on the name), had bbq food, and watched $1200 worth of illegal fireworks. It was a lot of fun, and I'm very glad I went.

When I first got there, I noticed this cute girl. Short blond hair, very blue eyes, but she looked a little young. As it turns out, she's Kendal's younger sister, and she's 20. She turns 21 in October (so I'm older than she is). I watched how she interacted with people during the day, because I'm not sure how protective Kendal is and I like to feel my way around slowly. She seemed very playful and she has a lot of energy, and a cute car.

I ended up sitting next to her for fireworks, half on purpose, half because it was where the edge of where the people my age were talking. We talked for a bit about just random stuff, with her younger brother as well (who was on her other side) and it was good. She went inside to get something, her seat got stolen, and she picked the seat on my other side when she got back.

We talked through fireworks, and we have the same liking for books. She's read Wheel of Time, which is totally super, and she's intelligent. We hung out at her mom's house (where the block party was) until about midnight with her siblings, then she brought me home. (Kendal burnt his right hand badly on a fuse that burned too quickly, but he's left handed so we're OK). I asked if she was hungry and she said "That usually doesn't happen until around 2am, so no" and I said "Well, hey, maybe if you're awake at 2 and hungry and I'm awake, I can take you to grab some food." She laughed (she has a good sense of humor too) and we swapped numbers so she can call me if she's awake.

That leaves one hour (from where I'm typing now) until she would call me. I'm not really expecting it, she has to get up in the morning, but I think it would be cool/funny if she did anyway. I'll probably still be up, I have some work to do and my reading, which will probably take at least that long. I'm going to play it cool, though. I need friends right now, and that's all I'm really going to be looking for to start. She seems like she'll make a really good friend.

So, in summary: my car is having problems, but is being fixed; I made a good friend, Kendal, who is willing to help me out; I had a good 4th of July when I didn't know what I was going to end up doing; and I made a friend out of Kendal's sister (who has eyes that Brandy would approve).

Shall we see how life continues to pan out?

(Just an update: No, she didn't call me at 2am, which is what I was expecting. I was asleep around that time anyway. My car is also fixed again, so it's been panning out well)

A Broken Heart and A Shattered Dream

It's crazy what a woman can do to your mind. You have this dream of what you want your life to be, and you have it all planned out in your head. It may be a vague plan, but you know the end point, you just don't have a time line. Then comes the baseball through the window.

It's like someone taking a baseball bat to the windshield of your brand new car, that you have yet to insure. Everything shatters and there is no way to replace it. There's just this huge hole in your life that can't be filled. You can get distracted and ignore it, but it always comes back as soon as you take your mind off the road.

You get in your now broken car to take it to the shop and lurch with pain. Glass shards on the seat. It's like there wasn't enough damage done already, they have to do exactly the thing you fear all along. It's like some hidden rule that after breaking your heart, burning it to ash, then leaving the ash on the table between you they have to go and do that one last thing that rubs salt in the wound, so they bend down and blow the ashes off the table onto the floor.

So you're broken, you're shattered, and they're lovin' life. You're in the past, you're history, and all they have to worry about, once they've ground you into the dirt, is gallivanting through green pastures that you two used to share holding hands with another guy, who they barely waited before snatching up.

And even if they didn't immediately run off with some other guy, they usually present that they have. It's the whole rubbing salt in the wound concept, again. They try to drive the stake through your heart and all the way out the back, just so you won't cling on to that shard of hope that you have left that your dream might still come true, and that you have something to look forward to in life.

They can't have you holding on, even if they wanted you to, because it will just make things "too hard".

You know what? Screw the crap! When you love someone, you're not just going to get over them lickity split. It doesn't happen, it won't ever happen, and it's exactly what they all expect and try to force you to do, or it's what they do themselves.

I'm tired of being hurt, I'm tired of being kicked and hit while I'm down, I'm tired of this stupid stupid game. Every time you think you've finally found something that works, they find someway to rip it out of your hands and take away every last shred you thought you had. I'm so incredibly done.