A Party of 25

Have you ever walked into a room and thought: "Wow, that's a lot of people!" Well, that's kinda how it felt after I walked back into my family room after getting off my cell phone during my party on Monday the 26th. We were watching a tight movie called 'Serenity' and EVERYONE I had invited was upstairs watching it. The room is 13 feet wide from wall to wall and it was Packed with people. There were only 18 people at this point, the others would either show up later or had already had to leave. Needless to say the phrase "loose the bubble" has never applied more.

The party went very well, I think. Much because of my mother and keeping half the people entertained with a game of Pit, while I was playing pool and dealing with ordering our pizza. Fantastic woman, my mom, and I really enjoy being around her.

The only thing that could've made it better would have been if my darling Sarah had not left. I understand why she needed to and completely respect that. We didn't really hang out much, as she was talking with Ben and I was running around being a host, but it was nice to know she was there if ever I needed her. It's kind of that comforting reasurance that everything will be ok, because you know everything you could ever want or need is sitting in the front room with a ready smile and calming presence. Granted, it was still fun after she left, but it was just different once she was gone. The woman of my dreams became a dream and a wish earlier than I would have hoped, but she will always be there and will return just at the right time to make life a bliss worth living.

Aside from her departure there is really only one other event that sticks in my mind. It's a funny story to me, but it may be one of those you-have-to-be-there or a you-have-to-know-the-people kind of story.

A Lap Full of Water

I was playing pool, and I had a shot at the 4 ball that was right up against the side. I hit the cue fairly hard to try to bounce the 4 into the opposite center pocket. I nailed the 4 ball and the cue took flight and landed right in Sarah H's lap. She jumped and a bunch of water came out of her cup and went up her sleeve. She chased me around the pool table before hitting me with a drum stick. I finished the pool game, winning by 1 ball, and said goodbye to my darling. I came back downstairs to watch the next game of pool. I decided to sit on Steph's lap (who was sitting right next to Sarah H), just for kicks and giggles.

We talked while the pool game progressed, then Meg knelt down infront of me and said: "I'm sorry for what is about to happen". I had no idea what she was talking about, then Sarah H leans over and dumps the rest of her water right into my lap. I looked at my lap in puzzlement for a second, then twisted where I was sitting to dump the remainder into Steph's lap. I stood up and more water fell on Steph's knees. Meg was litterally on the floor laughing, Sarah H was busting up, and Steph was just flabergasted that Sarah H would've done that while I was on her lap.

I, myself, thought the "revenge" a way of trying to get attention and/or flirting. It was still funny, though. I guess it is kind of a you-have-to-be-there thing.

Signing Out/
~Beefy

Something I Just Realized

A blog is a sort of online diary, for most people, but I have found an inherant flaw with that belief. While it is, for all intents and purposes, just that it is, at the same time, not. Confused? Good, let me continue.

A diary, by definition, is a record of one's inner-most thoughts and feelings; a place for them to rant, rave, proclaim love, etc. How many poeple do you know that are willing to do this online for the world to read, especially if that someone who they're talking about has access to their blog?

Let us use the following situation for an example: You live far away from this someone, but are in regular contact with them (whether by email, IM, phone, it mattereth not). You have had a crush on this person for at least two years, but are scared to voice your thoughts directly to this someone for fear of rejection. You've ranted to all your friends about it, but, again, try to hide it from the someone for fear of rejection and hurt. This someone has access to your online blog.

There are two places you can go from here. The first Post It On Your Massively Public Online Blog or Write It In A Little Private Book. Hmm, which would you rather do? Wait! Before you make your choice, let's see the points of boths sides of the story first.

Post It On Your Massively Public Online Blog

• HELLO EVERYONE! READ MY THOUGHTS!
• HELLO THAT SOMEONE - I'M SO MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU!
• HELLO WORLD - I LOVE THAT SOMEONE!
• THAT SOMEONE - IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, GET REALLY AWKWARD NOW BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!

Write It In A Little Private Book

• Ah, I can write and noone sees
• If I want you to see this, that someone, I'll let you read it sometime
• I can show it to my closest friends and noone else
• Haha, now you're going to stay friends with me and never know that I like you until I decide it's time

So, now, looking back at these choices, which seems better for writing down all your personal thoughts? Well, in my opinion, it's number two. Then again, if you're trying to tell that someone, but you don't wanna do it face to face number one is better.

And you know, it's been 6 hour since I started writing this and I really can't remember where I was going with it... Well, feel free to draw your own conclusions, mine are gone.

A Sheet of Ice

Well, a funny thing happened. I was driving to work and turned into the parking lot. There was what looked like about 1/2 inch of snow covering the entire parking lot. Thus, seeing the conditions, I took the turn much slower than I normally would have. I immediately began to slide and released the breaks completely. So, here I am, sliding around this slightly downhill slope, no touch my break so I will have control, and aimed right at the curb. My thoughts were as follows:

"Well, I have a few choices here... 1) I can try to drive over the curb, so I don't hurt my tire. No, that wouldn't work, I'd just get stuck in those bushes and probably dink up the bottom of my car. 2) I can turn my wheel a little to try to drive onto, but not over, the curb. I might be able to recover from the slide then. If I can't, then chances are I'll get a front and a back tire stuck up here and won't be able to get out... or I'll hit that parked car. 3) I can just leave my wheel parrallel to the curb so that it'll smack it and stop the slide, then I'll be fine. I won't hit that car, I won't get stuck in the bushes, and I won't be sliding. Hmm, I think I'll take option 3."

I straightened my wheel some, so it wouldn't slam in directly on the side and let myself nail the curb. Everything seemed OK until lunch time. I got in my car started driving, and when I hit 25mph, my steering wheel started to vibrate. I had no idea what was going on. I took it into the Firestone and it turns out I bent up the wheel (the actuall wheel, sometimes called the rim) pretty badly and had to replace it. Cost $70 to replace that part, and I decided to get snow tires for my front tires for an additional $150. So, I'm all good now.

The funny part about all this, though, is coming up. I was talking to the lead programmer today and he was talking about his "Midas Touch"... I still don't know why he was. When I asked what he meant, he said: "Oh, I hit the curb yesterday and bent up the wheel on my car". I couldn't help it. I split my side laughing. After a stunned second he said: "You did it too, huh?" I agreed with him and we had a good laugh wondering how many others had done the same thing. He got his wheel replaced today on his lunch break.

Great times, Great weather, Great cars.

I love Utah in the Winter!

Two Angels

I wrote this after my most recent break up. I thought this X was the one. Turns out she was not. I had some disturbing realizations about her during the breakup that I was apparently blind to while we were dating. I met one of the most awesome people I know on a road trip shortly after this break up. In 4 days time she showed me that their are people out there who are vastly superior to this X. While I still cared for this X at the time (mostly because I'd been dating her for 2 years) I had glimpsed something far better. This poem describes my feelings at the time and gives an image of the choice I had to make between the old and the new.

-= Two Angels =-

I stand here looking, my future unfolds,
and a fork in my path becomes clear.
The threads of time pull me on,
the fork I now approach.

Which choice, which path, must I choose?
my life hinges at this fork,
for once I choose, I cannot turn
this choice cannot be undone.

The right is narrow, straight and true,
but challenges creep along the way,
The left seems easier at first glance,
but further on the way grows rough.

My way unclear, my choice unmade,
and life throws in a little more.
An angel beckons from each path
telling me which way to go.

One says left, the other right,
conflicting messages fill my head:
"This way's easy, come to me."
"This way's worth the struggle!"

The familiar angel to my left,
smiles as she beckons me down the path.
The fire haired beauty across the way
pleads with me to choose the right.

Familiarity gains my trust,
but something holds me to my place.
That way grows dark, holds pain unseen,
and, yet, she beckons... why?

Her plea seems hollow, unattached,
as if it has nothing to do with me.
It's what she wants, and so she asks,
but does she want what's best for me?

To my right, again I look,
and meet that penetrating gaze.
The honesty in her eyes I see,
the sincerity of her plea I feel.

My heart is torn, my mind goes mad,
why does this angel care?
I barely know her, yet she calls,
she beckons, pleading, to choose her way.

Why is she so sincere?
She does not have a thing to gain.
And, yet, her plea rings in my head,
and slowly my feet begin to turn.

She draws me on, my choice seems made,
as joy and happiness consume her gaze.
The angel to my left cries out,
begging me to choose her path.

My stride grows strong, my resolve more firm,
as familiarity loses trust.
I choose the path that is sincere,
my journey continues as it must.

I walk along, the left trail fades,
the choice is made, and cannot change.
I meet the angel, she smiles with joy,
and now I know what my new future brings.